Hmm, yes, well... I need links... again. ^//^ Enjoy my artwork. Or rather... my captions.

"I'm AShley And I'm A Butt!!!!!!!!!!"

=3 hehe... Anne got mad cause I got on ehr xanga and changed the heading to say

"What's better than a one-legged puppy...?         Gackt's cackt, maybe?"

XD so she cmae here and, in some lame attemtp to get me back, wrote that.

^_^ This is my pudgy cat, Tuffy. Luff him.

Okies, that last thing..... ^//^ I was a bit overly emotional, I'll admit.... anywho, we got that all cleared up.

SO

ON TO THE NEXT MATTER AT HAND.....

=3 said Jimmy is having a Halloween party. ^_^ and I was invited. ^_~ Smart move, Jims.

Okay, so I have everything I need to be Kami. ^_^ BE HAPPY!!!!! I GOT LEATHER PANTS!!!! HELL YEAH!!!! BLACK LEATHER!!!!! XD HOT DAMN!!! *ahem* ANywho... so Jimmy wants to be Yuki, cause he likes Yuki's top hat, lol. So, sicne I'm all spazzed out over my squeaky pants, Jim Jim, here's some pics of Yuki for you, and I hope they all show up... @_@

^_^ Mettagiri suru's outfit was based on this one... *points down*

Ope! Looky here!!! 3 times the Yuki!!! and a chibi that's just SCREAMING "bitch, you keep AWAY from me..."

And that's all the good ones I could find for you. ^//^ there were more, but they didn't have the top hat, or were just too small to be of any use to anyone, so there. lol.

^_^ Anywho... so yeah... XD dude, me and you are gonna be the only people at the party who have any idea who the bloody hell we're supposed to be, lol....

Whoever's reading this....Jimmy.... please don't be crushed... It's not you... this happens everytime... It's crazy... and I know it probably doesn't make a lot of sense... but just please don't be crushed...

-.- *sigh* Well... it happened again...... I'm being forced to choose..... the one I've always and still love..... or take my chances with someone new.......

Some stuff happened in 7th period today, and I didn't think anything of it until the end of class... I've been put in a rather crucial and sad position..... Lyssa kept saying that I love Jimmy. He's just a friend. But closer to the end of class, she was whispering something to him, and he asked if I wanted to go to Homecoming with him. At the beginning of class, he said he wanted to go with Alyssa, and those two are always flirting. I wonder if maybe Lyssa told him toask me because she wanted to get areaction from me, or if she just gave him some confidence enoguh to ask me... I don't know... but I sort of wish that it never happened...... I know I can't be away from James.... I can't do it... but at the same time... I've loved him for so long now... that maybe it's time I find a new interest.... but I just don't know... and I don't who to look to for advice, because nobody understands what this is like for me... I don't have anyone else who can relate... Anne doesn't know what I should do... shes the only one I've told so far. And while Hannah was one of my first friends, I know she won't be of any help... she doesn't understand why I feel the way I do about James... nobody does... if they did, they'd see what a problem this is for me. I know that it's unusual that I should love James, but I do. I do love James. More than anything in the world... but Jimmy...he's one of my friends... and I'd feel horrible if I turned him down when he really wanted to go... but I'd feel horrible if I forgot about James, too... he's such a huge part ofmy life now... a permanent part of who I am... but Jimmy might turn out to be just as important to me.... but I'm so afraid of whatever I decide... I don't even know if he really meant it, or if he just asked to be nice, so I wouldn't feel bad... he said he really meant it... but earlier that very class period, he said he wanted to go with Alyssa... I can't take this.....lately, I've been so hung up on Kami, and more recently Gackt, that it's been hard for me to think about James at night like I always do... but maybe it's just a test of my love... or maybe it's sometihng telling me that I need to move on.... I just don't know... November is just next month, and I still have lots to plan before then... I've been looking forward to November 4th for 2 years now...I was so excited 3 months ago... everything was so much easier back then....I didn't know about Kami or Gackt.... and Jimmy was just "Adam's crazy friend from 5th period"... and I know that Gackt is out of my reach... KAmi is DEFFINITELY out of my reach... and James is too, sort of... but I can live withought Gackt or Kami... it would be a hard ajustment at first, but in time, I could do it... but James.... I have too many good memories... I don't know if I want to let that go for soemthing that I don't even know if it will work out...for something if I don't even know is really there..... Lyssa has an icon on one of her xangas.... "Letting go is hard, but it's easier than holding on to something that isn't there".... I don't know what's there and what's not there... I love James with all my heart... but Jimmy is here... I KNOW what I feel for James... I don't know with Jimmy... I know who everyone would want me to decide on... but nobody really understands... I just wish I had someone like me who DID understand... someone who could help me decide.....I don't know anybody who could really give me an honest answer... Liv would say James, because she knows how much I love him... Moni would probably say the same thing... and I want to... I want to stay with James more than anything... but at the sametime... I want to know what it's like to feel that for someone who I can reach out and touch... I love James more than anything in the world... but Jimmy is so much closer to me physically... I'm just so afraid of my decision... either way, I'd be losing someone important to me... if I pick Jimmy, then I'd be losing a lifeitme of memories with my first and deepest love... but if I pick James, then I run the risk of losing not only one of my friends but the chance at being really truly happy... I don't know how things will turn out if I go with Jimmy... but what I know, and what I've decided for me and James is so wonderful... but what I could have with Jimmy mgiht be every bit as good... maybe a little better... but I don't want to forget James... I don't want to forget either of them... I so afraid of what I decide... *sigh* ..... so afraid..... so fragile... I'm sorry... I have nothing against him.... I just don't want to go through what I went through last time... all it takes is one lying b****** cheating on me to ruin me..... and I'm just so confused... but please..... nobody take the blame for this... it wasn't your fault.... if anything, I did it to myself, but I can't stop... -.- I'm gonna go now....

Jimmy... if you happen across this......... *shaking head* I don't know..... I don't want to lose another friend... but I don't want to lose a lifetime of memories, either.... I wish you could understand... I really don't know..... I wish I knew how to better explain this... but I don't..... please don't be crushed if I don't go with you... it doesn't mean I don't like you, it just means that either I haven't decided, or I chose my first love... either way, please don't be crushed...

Lyss... if you happen across this......if you just told Jimmy to ask me to get a reaction, just tell me, please... don't make me suffer... I won't think badly of you... I just want to know if I'm going through this for a reason...